Is there an obsession in teaching with student happiness?

I have high schoolers (16-17) who hang on me like puppies. They'll even fail the class on purpose if I don't show them the requisite level of affection.

If I bring up this is the fault of the parents, immediately people expect educators to pick up the slack. And god forbid if we do not. The vitriol seems misplaced - to expect a student to properly attach in 180 days - that's a recipe for co-dependency.

But just like we warn kids of strangers offering them heroin or a stranger snatching them at the mall (both statistically untrue), we don't teach them the necessity of healthy emotional independence.

Like giving students answers, we give them unconditional love when they're younger and there's 35 kids per teacher, but pull the rug when there's 160 per teacher.

I'm a tough love kinda person. Really, just tough. My experience has taught me that if you become friends with someone who has power over you it's a recipe for disaster. Sure family, but even then they left me high and dry.

Love seems like an empty platitude when I have to fail them - at least many see it that way. "If I cared, I wouldn't do that to them."

Even in the lower grades. If stop drop and roll is vital to their safety if they're on fire and their emotional well-being is vital, then it stands to reason that we should teach them that they are in command of their emotions. It should not be tethered to others.

Others making you feel good is dessert. You won't always get it and dinner (your self view) is what feeds you.

But school isn't built that way. Kids, by design, do not understand cause and effect. Their thinking usually doesn't extend beyond what is in front of them. "You gave me an F". This is default.

If we were able to engender a sense of self efficacy, we might be on track for instilling emotional independence.

John Locke called property a natural right. That feeling you get when you complete a task. Not dishes, but building something and accomplishing.

I propose an experiment. This would really only work for younger grades - and even then, not for all. Create a bulletin board. "My best work". After every project the student assesses whether what's up currently is their best work. If they choose to replace it, the other work comes down.

Four things:

1. Some kids might just replace the work because they can't self assess. This will take teacher intervention.

2. You cannot hang up all of their previous work. The board is the only display of their work. Perhaps they can assess and 2nd and 3rd place work. But limit what's up on the walls.

3. Maybe have a counter under it for plant projects and things.

4. They get to revise anything they want as many times as they want.

To me, this would put their emotional well-being in their hands and tether it to their own accomplishment.

Submitted July 25, 2017 at 09:55AM by anonoman925 http://ift.tt/2tWx2nC