How do you address a trans/nonbin student if the parent is against it?

Good morning. I've recently came across a discussion topic where I volunteer, and something was said that rubbed me the wrong way. The program is educational, so I would assume it falls under the regulations of DOE. I know the DOE in NY has said that schools and educations must honor a student's gender identity, this includes names and pronouns. Now the place I work recently brought up the topic of trans and non binary students.

Almost by default a program leader will read a roster and then ask, "Do you like that name, do you have a nick name?" and I've heard some silly names be accepted from Skater to Brush. The issue then arose when someone asked: What if a child answers that they prefer a different pronoun and or name?

Now to me I am perfectly OK with honoring this. Using different names from legal names (due to immigration) has been a staple of my life since I was a kid, and honoring a pronoun, is not a big change, might trip a few times but the change will be honored to the best of my abilities. Calling a hypothetical kid named Lawrence, as El, Lars, Laura, Larry or Lark makes no difference to me, so long as its not a bad word.

I was told if a pronoun or the 'nick name' is too different from the registered gender, they by In Loco Parentis must honor the parent's wishes. Now, that did not sit well with me. Especially when they say they are all inclusive. We have Zero Tolerance protocols and it includes if there a student who has a different orientation/creed or race and they are being bullied we will treat it as a bullying issue and sit kids down to discuss how the behavior is unacceptable, and if the issue continues we go through the discipline system. Essentially from my understanding we use In Loco Parentis when it comes to discipline, feeding, transportation, supervision, providing medical care etc.

So my question is, if you are in a state that states schools and like organizations need to honor the gender preference of a student, what happens in the case if the parent or guardian is against or vehemently against their child's desire? Do you honor student or parent? Schools and like programs should be safe areas, so my natural inclination would be to honor the student even if they are under 16 or would an educator be legally bound to the parent's wishes, which would contradict being inclusive?

If you could provide backing sources it would be helpful.

Thank you!

Submitted July 21, 2018 at 08:10AM by Glassfern https://ift.tt/2mz7VWG