I hope this is the right place for this... If not I apologize, please redirect me to a more appropriate sub.
Looking for some advice from educators, teachers, parents, anyone really who has insight on my troubled daughter.
I'll give a brief background, but will happily answer questions.
My daughter is 11, starting 6th grade this year. Diagnosed with anxiety and currently medicated for that. Some markers for ADHD, but not diagnosed, and not being treated for it. Seeing a child therapist for anger management. My ex husband and I share custody and get along great and work together as a team to parent our kids. Her older sister is a gem and is doing great.
My daughter Laya started having increasingly bad panic attacks in the second half of 4th grade. Started refusing to go to school, saying it was impossible, too hard, scary, overwhelming. We immediately investigated and eliminated any chance of teacher or student abuse, bullying, or any kind of accident or danger. She just simply no longer wanted to go anymore, and started to have major crying breakdowns in the morning. Full blown panic attacks, screaming, yelling, throwing things. Unheard of behavior for what used to be a really awesome, dedicated little kid.
We stated to investigate other medical possibilities like PANDAS, or sleep apnea. Had tonsils removed, and did sleep studies, but no apnea. PANDAS is difficult to diagnose, but he didn't seem to be showing symptoms except for panic attacks and fear of transitions (but only around school). Continued to try to work with the school and eventually got Special Ed accommodations under the title of "emotional disturbance", and a partial PANDAS diagnosis.
My daughter says she doesn't want to talk to people, doesn't want to go to school, doesn't want to go to classes. She says she would rather be homeschooled. She's extremely intelligent, but has a terrible work ethic now. It's very difficult to motivate her to do anything she deems unimportant or not fun.
I work from home full time in IT, her father works full time. We cannot homeschool while we do that too. Furthermore, I don't trust that I personally will be able to motivate her to adhere to a homeschool regimen at the house any more than I can get her to do her existing assignments or what little homework she has. I'm not a teacher. I love my kids like crazy, but I don't know how to teach them these things, and their academics are getting increasingly beyond what I could reasonably learn myself.
On top of that, she would miss out on a lot of elective opportunities, socialization, and resources the schools provide.
She is currently enrolled in public school in an SEA (social emotional achievement) class. She goes to the main class, and they work with her to try to get her calm and ready each day. She's supposed to go to other out-classes, but right now they only send her to 1. While there, she sits on the floor and refuses to engage. She won't do assignments, won't talk to teachers, just completely shuts down.
When she comes home, she's a totally different person. She's funny, making jokes, being affectionate, doing chores, playing games, being a fun kind of goofy 11 year old kid. When it gets close to the evening, she starts to go downhill. Starts to worry, get anxious, gets up at all hours of the night, can't sleep. Then the morning rolls around and she's irritable, grumpy, shouting, yelling, crying, trying anything in her power to avoid going to school.
I don't know how to help her. She's completely against the idea of school, and I feel like homeschooling would be a disaster and giving in to what she wants instead of helping her learn how to be a part of a team, socialize, follow rules, take responsibility, etc.
Can anyone offer any insights, advice, or words of hope?
Submitted September 25, 2019 at 11:52AM by ThrowAwaySink913 https://ift.tt/2lMV7iP
