Emotionally and Physically Abusive(?) Cello Teacher

Okay, so the title kind of says it all. I’m not sure if she’s exactly abusive, but I’m hoping to see if she is and if she is, what to do about it through this post.

Before anything, a background info on me. I’m a straight-A student, top scorer in class, and I try really hard to be good in whatever I do. I’m studying really hard for the GCSEs, and sometimes I struggle to find time for intensive cello practising.

Back to the teacher. I’ve had this teacher for a year and a half now, and things are just getting worse. At first, like the first one or two months, she was really kind and supportive. But then, she suddenly started to turn… a little mean, saying things that really hurt me on a daily basis. These are just a few examples:

1. She says that she can see that I haven’t lived my life properly, never tried hard enough in my life, belittled me and my accomplishments.

2. She tells me that there are so many people who are good at both studying and cello. She tells me that I must be an idiot because all the other smart kids she’s taught are amazing at cello.

3. That said, she constantly compares me to her other students, especially my friends. That they find time to study and practise cello, that I’m not trying hard enough, that she can see I’m wasting my time even though I don’t have enough time. And I tell myself, I’m good enough, that my friend who she compares me to all the time is more musically oriented (and it’s true, she wants to pursue music) and that I’m only doing cello on the side. But it’s hard to convince misled that when I don’t ever think I’m good enough.

4. She comments on my physical appearance, saying I LOOK slow and that I look boring.

I was fine with these things, to be fair. But last few weeks, as I am working towards ABRSM Grade 6, she’s taken to more than just upsetting words. Any time I make a mistake, she hits me, with her hand or with her bow. Every time I start playing, my hands shakes (even though I really don’t want it to) and she gets even more mad because I shake.

Is this normal for like music teachers? Am I over-reacting? My teacher says it’s all for my good… but lately I’ve just been feeling so down, sad, and even more stressed than I usually am.

Any advice, comment would be greatly appreciated. Also, not sure if this is the right community to post this on, and if it isn’t, please tell me so so that I can copy-paste it somewhere else. Thank you for reading through this lengthy post :)

• Tori

Submitted May 31, 2022 at 02:52AM by ParadoxicOxymoron https://ift.tt/WubcwPr