I feel so lost and need advices for my academic career (long context)

I feel like I am lost, and utterly left behind in life.

23/F

I am an international student (from 3rd world country with ongoing civil war). I am currently residing in Italy with student visa, and I have been here for 8 months now.

I am doing foundation year program which is a preparatory course (to be able to pursue bachelor degree in EU countries) for students with less than 12 years of schooling from their own country education system. The only reason I came here (took risks with my mom has given almost everything of her) is to make my dream come true - studying psychology. Unfortunately, not very long ago I took the entrance exam from the University of Padova which is where I want to study, and I did not get admitted. I studied very hard with best I had though right now I am feeling I should have done harder and what I did wasn't enough.

Now I must do something else, find other paths, starting everything all over again.

My friends suggest me to take a major which could be related to or close to psychology field. But what is that? Italy doesn't offer generous amount of bachelor degrees in english taught. So it is very challenging to find what might be appropriate for me. I ask myself, "what do I want?" - I want to work with children, disabled people, or even old people, I want to help them in any way - mainly with emotional support and wellbeing. I have been finding opportunities to volunteer at refugee camps or anywhere where children might need someone to accompany them. The reason I want to study psychology is also to help people from my country and to make contributions. My country is developing backwards, under dictatorship right now, and also last year encountered an earthquake that took over 3000 people, and destroyed countless homes including our house which was completely demolished to pieces. People were helpless, no help from the government, no emotional support or nothing at all - my dream is to change this and establish programs to support mental wellbeing. Another factor is the civil war - a war between the dictator and the people defense forces. People defense forces are literally just civilians - long story short you could imagine what has happened to those people - thousands displaced, many arrested are facing death sentence, many escaped are now at the country border yet still resisting and fighting. But there are no to very few support for them, especially mentally. Many veterans are struggling with PTSD with almost no support for their mental wellbeing. I want to help them and work with these people - this is my dream. This is what I wrote in my personal statement to the embassy when I applied for visa.

Now with my dream shattered; I am trying to find myself again. It has been 8 months and I am only able to have some very basic conversation. I was at high risk of suicide in March, very fortunately I have made some good friends and they were there for me. I contacted my school, and managed to get a session with the university psychologist - she was very kind and helpful. Now I am also seeing the psychiatrist and on anti depressants. The living expense is very high and I have been trying to find a job to support myself - luckily I got an interview, went okay and the owner told me to come to work trial next weekend. I don't drink, don't smoke, don't dine out nor spend recklessly on clothes or unnecessary. For the record, I have only spend around 55 euro for my groceries and snacks and I still have enough foods for the rest of May. I am doing everything I can - not to become a financial burden for my dear momma.

For my academic career, I have managed to find contact from the university to talk with the psychologist regarding this kind of matter. Because as right now, I have no idea who I am. I ask myself "what am I good at?" - nothing. "what skill do I have?" - nothing. "How many languages can I speak fluently?" - my mother tongue and English, and a-car-with-broken-lever level of Italian. I don't know what do I do...

I want to get back on my feed again and I am finding and getting any possible help. I also now would like to hear some insights, advices from you guys too for my academic career, future profession. What do I do...

Submitted May 10, 2026 at 04:30AM by Ok_Power_7358 https://ift.tt/daZcY3s