My little brother has had a terrible homeschooling experience - if I got custody of him, how could I help him catch up?

Hi everyone. I'm not sure if this is the right place, but seemed so and I'm looking for any advice possible, and would be open to alternate subreddits or communities that might be able to help me out here.

I am in my mid 30s and I have a half-brother who is soon turning 11. I do not have contact with him or our father currently, as of 1 year ago. My dad is a virulent racist and homophobic bigot, obsessed with trolling local politicians online, and widely hated in my hometown. He had my little brother with a much younger woman. My lil bro's mom is out of the picture, having given up rights years ago after a drug addiction spiral. When my dad dies, and he thinks taking care of yourself or building good habits is for queers so that may be soon, I may well end up with custody of my brother.

My brother didn't have any formal education until age 8, which is legal in my state (a fact I find completely disgusting). Upon turning 8 my dad enrolled him in an online homeschooling program because my dad won't let him be around black people or immigrants, basically. My little brother, last I knew, cannot read at any functional level and cannot do math at anywhere near his grade level. My dad logs into the computer then sits in bed scrolling Facebook with Fox News on in the background while my little brother plays fortnite online completely unsupervised. This is all day, every day, and not a single person in any position of authority has been able to help me fix this in the years since it's been going on - schools, child protective services, nothing. It has soured me entirely on homeschooling and treating parents like they have rights over their kids as if the kids are property the parents can do what they want with.

My girlfriend and I have talked about what we could do to help my brother if I were to get custody, because currently I have no recourse at all. I'm prepared to go to work supporting my brother emotionally, helping him cope with his mountain of trauma and bad socialization, get him in public school and therapy asap, get him a better diet and exercise, less screen time and more friends. But I'm wondering what resources are available in situations like this.

He has 0 emotional control, frequent meltdowns/outbursts, and no attention span. He can't so much as sit and eat dinner without a screen in front of him and the ability to get up and cause some kind of chaos at regular intervals. And I don't mean in a regular young boy energetic way, he's more like a brain rotted toddler than a growing kid. If he were put in a regular classroom now he'd be a nightmare for the teacher and it wouldn't be fair to the other kids.

I assume some kind of special education would be necessary. Is this something I could talk to the public school about arranging? Would I need a diagnosis of ADHD or similar? Are there after school type programs to ease kids into a more structured learning environment? Is this something that comes up and they'd know what programs to put him in etc or is it something where I'd have to work with several organizations?

I'm trying to understand what will be possible to get the best life for my brother once I'm able to actually help him develop like a normal kid, away from the insane destructive prejudices that have ruined my dad's brain. I love my brother and want him to grow into the best person he can be, and give him the tools to do so. I really appreciate any advice anyone can offer.

Submitted April 9, 2026 at 08:57AM by durers_rhino https://ift.tt/D7xus15