How not having a High School Diploma is affecting me.

I finished my high school in UAE this may. My family, especially dad has been having trouble trying to pay my and my sister's school fee for a couple of years now. I forced him to pay for my 11th grade fees so that I could start studying for my 12th grade and try to catch up with 3 weeks of studies that I missed while trying to convince my dad. It's been months since I finished my exams and I am pretty sure I did well in it. I do have my second and third term results(it's an American curriculum) and I received above 80+percentage for each semester, I believe I gained better results in my finals. I have started looking for financial aids and some part time jobs I could do to help him out but it's getting difficult each day and something inside me breaks as each day passes by. Without having a high school diploma it is difficult to get jobs or any financial aid for universities (I know it's stupid to look for universities/colleges when I don't have my high school diploma but I am just praying for a miracle now). I have started giving up on hope to ever study. I admit being highly dependent on my dad and I know I am a pretty average student. Each day my web search would be filled with "financial aid for students", "financial aids for high school students", "UAE financial aid" etc. I am getting sick mentally and also physically. I know I am responsible for my own ass and I am supposed to get my own help now that I am legally an adult this year but everything is getting overwhelming for me. I don't see any hope for myself anymore but don't worry, I am going to sleep and wake up tomorrow to search and cry about my future thus the cycle will go on until I start hating myself to the point of not being able to ever overcome it. I don't like this idea and I don't wish to go on like this anymore. This process is more painful than the issue itself. Now my family has decided to settle down in my home country in a few months where getting a proper education or having a job is nearly impossible for women. And without a high school diploma, I don't see any luck in having my higher education there.

Submitted September 03, 2022 at 11:03AM by AdComplex8785 https://ift.tt/E3cvMpV