Advice regarding my education

I gave SLC in Nepal and after SLC I had to move to Europe (Portugal) with my parents. I had a dream of becoming theoretical physicist. I thought studying in Europe would give me more qualifications due to higher and advanced learning. But alas, I had to join highschool here. And high school here teach in Portuguese language and I didn't know it yet. Here, even if you failed two subjects but passed all you get promoted to another grade. In first year, I passed maths on my own, I also passed gymnasium and English on my own. I didn't passed physics on my own but in one of the physics test i excelled and got highest point in whole class. My physics teacher said that i deserve to go further because I'm talented in math and physics and my barriers is language only. I excelled in math so much that every other nepali that came in my school would be demeed good at mathematics by default. So my physics teacher gave me 11 point 1 point more than i needed to pass and hence i passed my 10th grade with only failing biology and philosophy. In 11 grade here we have national exam similar to SLC or SEE in Nepal. We have to give national exam of two subject out of three, bio, philosophy and physics. I gave for bio and physics and i failed it. Since i failed only two subject which was bio and physics i was promoted to 12th grade but i have to pass this two national exam to get through high school and get to university. In 12th grade we have national exam too. This time for math and Portuguese. Since i didn't know Portuguese i gave for PLNM which is for foreigners learning Portuguese. I passed math easily but hardly passed PLNM but i passed nonetheless. But now i have to give national exam for 11th grade too and i did this year and i failed again. To understand and elaborate in foreign language that too that of science is tough. Even Portuguese fail who am i not to. But i don't think i can pass it ever. I'm getting old and i wanted to study physics but i don't think my dream is going to be true. I only have temporary residencey. One of my friends was in same position as mine but he got citizenship and went UK to learn from 10th grade again. I do not have such freedom. My family also cannot afford expensive English teaching private school. I was planning to study in Norway because education is free and my uncle lives there. But inorder to get into university i need to pass high school which i cannot do here. And the things that's bothering me most is I'm getting old and i am just wasting my time. Do any one have any advice? It's bothering me a lot. So much so i thought about suicide too. I am having headaches and dizziness due to high blood pressure. If anyone have any suggestions please help me. Please!!

Submitted August 15, 2019 at 11:50AM by ansyon https://ift.tt/33Djvof