Perfectionism and Issues

Hi, I'm a high school student and I'm currently doing U.S History. I really want to understand the subject but I'm finding it hard to do so because I have to remember so many things. I don't know why I have to remember all of this. As if I'm going to use it in biology, and I'm only doing it for an exam. I want to do it because I'm interested in it, but school is stripping that away. I hate it so much. I want it self-paced.

Whenever I have just one day off, I stress out. I have a 4.0 GPA, but I'm still so stressed out. I don't want to be like my siblings, who cheated. I just want to earn my way up by hard work. I want to get to where I want to be, and it's not going to be an easy route. I just don't know what I can do.

On top of that, I don't understand this memorization deal. I feel as if I've never understood anything, even the most basic stuff. I'm really not sure what to do because I'm pretty stupid, but I just want to be smart. I just want to improve. I'm so stupid but I know I want to get through this. What's your advice?

Submitted September 15, 2019 at 06:35AM by twentyfive5 https://ift.tt/34KD4vh