Advice for my daughters safety cancerns

Most of last year, my daughter (now 13 years old, 8th grade) was the target of cruel pregnancy and abortion rumors at school. The stress and isolation caused her to shut down emotionally, she stopped talking to her therapist (pre existing anxiety ADHD, depresion with IEP), stopped opening up to us, and began refusing to go to school. She only started telling us the real reasons why in April/May. We knew of the issue early on, she mentioned the principal actually made an announcement over the PA system about the rumors, which seemed to make things worse, this was when the rumors went from pregnancy to abortion. Advised that we did seek an eval with her pediatrician who also was concerned attebing school made things worse. We were in frequent contact between the school counselor and assistant principal.

Over the summer, we worked with a county school attendance program and she was feeling positive about a fresh start. But the harassment picked right back up day one, kids making comments, even putting hands on her belly. Despite several attempts, it took three tries working through the outside support agency just to get the school to meet with us. The principal’s only solution was to give “stern talks,” saying the kids would just keep doing it anyway. The county attendance reps were also upset at the lack of a plan from the school, as e advised my daughter was not comfortbale coming to him because of his dismissive attitude towards her in the past. While meeting with students oveer an issue, he once said in front of these students that he was tired of emails from parents about bullying when thats not what was going on.

Later, when we suggested virtual classes for her, the district said she’d still have to come in for special services and didn’t address the harassment as the cause. I later followed uo giving formal notice about Title IX violations, and still seeing no real school action, we hired a lawyer. Suddenly, the school offered private placement during the first call between counsel, but my daughter is adamant she doesn’t want to lose the few safe anchors she has—her few good friends, beloved teachers, and especially her music class. Most private schools around here aren’t a great fit, I'm afraid she wont meet their academic standards, and she’s afraid new environments and leaders won’t be any better, especially given how dismissive the current staff have been.

She’s caught in a cycle—unsafe at school, anxious about starting over somewhere else, and refusing therapy or support. I’m at a loss for how to help her break out of this pattern and rebuild trust and stability. My lawyer can only advise on legal matters, and she refuses therapy, she wont open up. This is such a heart breaking moment, and i feel so lost.

Submitted October 29, 2025 at 08:15AM by TheCleverRaven https://ift.tt/W41n2df