I feel like I wasted my entire education and now regret everything and feel so very lost

I(17 turning 18 in less than 2 months) have been homeschooled my entire life but starting at 15 years old I started barely doing my schoolwork and exerting no effort. by the time i was 16 I completely stopped all schoolwork and my mother(the person teaching me) gave up on trying to get me to do any thing. I kept telling myself that I would eventually just catch up and I was just taking a break but now I'm almost 18 and feel a deep sense of dread. I don't know how I'll get a job and cramming for a GED or HISET seems incredibly stressful and I don't even know where I'd start to learn what i need to. on top of that I've started to talk to some people who are in college and I've been getting really interested in other languages, literature, religions, and history but I yet again have no idea where to start. I asked my mother to try to help me but she's said I've passed up my chance to receive help and am on my own which may seem like a bitchy thing to do but she is actively educating 3 other children and runs a business so I completely understand because she warned me this would happen when I first started refusing schoolwork. I know that I did this to myself and honestly this is more of a vent than a cry for help but if anyone here has any advice or something I'd really appreciate that.

sorry if this is all incoherent or just not what this sub was made for

Submitted October 30, 2025 at 11:47PM by Cinder-22 https://ift.tt/34bpmnG