Hey! I am here to ask advice for dropping out of school. Obviously I have my reasons, so I am gonna explain those first. This may be a long post, so if you don't want to read my whole rant, feel free to scroll down to the end.
It started last summer, when we suddenly had to move out of our old apartment. That wouldn't have been a huge issue, if the owners didn't tell us literally 1 month before school started. Luckily, we did find a new, awesome apartment just in time, and even though moving was really stressful especially considering our circumstances, we were finally at our house a week before school started (our clothes and stuff still had to be stored on the floor, as we couldn't move all our furnitures yet). This was not only a new town for me to live at, but I also started the year at a new school. I didn't even have time to get used to our new home before school started. Needles to say, the whole family was stressed out.
As time passed by, I started to skip school more often and often due to me being sick all the time. I had several doctor appointments planned out, and found out that I had migraine, something wrong with my stomach (which the doctors still couldn't exactly figure out, btw), got signed up for a stress management program, and the doctors found a possible tumor in my brain (still not sure, we are gonna find it out in a few months), problems with my period and multiple other issues. They just randomly hit me after years of being (mostly) healthy, and it just felt overwhelmed. Due to missing most of the things my classmates learned, I couldn't catch up, and came back to school to fail several tests and exams due to me not even knowing about what my classmates learnt.
Now, I did ask my classmates about at least borrowing me their books so I can catch up, but all of them were too busy to help me out in any shape or form. Obviously teachers want students to interact in such situations, so I had nobody to help me out. My parents have never even learned all the stuff that is taught at this school, and it's hard to learn stuff when it's based on things everyone learned when you are missing. Obviously this is a hard school, and most students don't get the most positive grades, but I am way worse than any of the people I talk to. To add up to this ; my class consists of 4 females, and more than 20 males, me being one of the females. This wouldn't be such a huge issue, if half of these guys respected women, however they think that women deserve no rights. They started mocking me recently, and make me very uncomfortable. I am already anxious and nervous talking in front of people, but when I am in this class I just start shaking as if there'd be an earthquake, which is probably one of the reasons they started picking on me.
A few weeks ago, I started having problems with my skin, and have to constantly scratch it. Even if I don't, I wake up to my pillow filled in blood due to my arm bleeding. Sadly we couldn't get a proper doctor appointment yet, and probably won't get one for months. We are suspecting this may also be due to the stress, as nobody else in my family or class has it. I am at the point where there is no day I am not exhausted, and can't even concentrate on stuff. I also have sleep issues since school started, and I literally can't make myself fall asleep before 1 am, no matter what kind of method I try to use. I am just done with all of this shit and finally want some peace.
I wrote an email to two of my teachers, but obviously, they can't do much about this situation. I want to drop out, however, my parents are very strict and due to my other sisters being worse than I am, they always expect me to be perfect, so at least I am not so much of a failure in the family. I don't care if I dissapoint them anymore. This would be helpful to my health, both mental and physical, and I feel like it's time I make my own decisions. I already have several plans on what to do if I dropped out. However, as I said my parents are very strict and sometimes abusive, and it literally scares me to even tell them I want to stop doing the only thing they are slightly proud of me for, I don't want them to get aggressive and just make me continue school, but with them making it even worse additionally. I am very anxious and nervous about it, and whenever I plan to I just can't open my mouth to tell them. I am unable to form sentences about this while looking into their eyes, and I don't think I am ready for them starting to yell at me.
Any tips or advice to this topic? I just want some peace for once.
Submitted February 26, 2020 at 11:55AM by Lucianoluxx https://ift.tt/2Tfwd8h
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