Is this the right forum for my topic?PLEASE repost elsewhere if necessary, thanks.
My first year of college was a bust, I really had no business going to school as I wasn’t serious or disciplined. That kind of set me up for failure and I ended up falling into customer service and retail jobs with low pay and little satisfaction. I’m not looking down on those that have been successful in retail, it just wasn’t for me. A lot of the time I felt it was a very revolving door culture and with things changing to favor online shopping, managers were often overworked while staff were basically left to fend for themselves in stressful environments. I tried my hand at some local government jobs but really sucked at working in offices and felt very incompetent a lot of the time. It was frustrating because I’ve always known I’m capable, but no matter what I did nothing worked.I know people are probably rolling their eyes and reading this, saying that I could have changed and redefined my goals at any time. That is true, but when you fall into a negative pattern of low paying jobs that require a lot of energy and time, it lends to a negative way of thinking and it’s just a vicious cycle. I guess after a while I started to believe I wasn’t smart enough and since I’d become older my moment was gone,etc.
I’ve felt very unfulfilled for a long time, and the last few years I’ve been very bothered by the fact that I haven’t been living up to my potential. Its affected how I view other people, but mostly myself. I just really lost my sense of individuality and purpose and felt so lost. Fast forward to this past Spring when the Pandemic really took off. I got furloughed indefinitely for a few months and ended up being permanently laid off over the Summer. For the first time in a while, I didn’t have to think about the grind or emptiness of returning to a job I hated and could just be still with my thoughts.
I started doing a lot of research into going back to school for music which I really excelled at in my younger years and always had a natural ability. I was able to redefine some goals and am now seriously looking at some college programs that I would like to pursue. This pandemic has really given me a lot of time to listen to myself and rediscover my goals after looking inward and seeing how I’ve wasted a lot of my youth working in meaningless jobs. in fact, it was kind of a blessing for me in a way, for various reasons, but mostly, it has given me time to remember what gave me a sense of purpose. Something I was without for some years.
( I realize that the pandemic was a crisis for many people who became ill or lost jobs, became homeless, they and their families suffered, or worse lost loved ones. I don’t mean to downplay others’ struggles and I obviously wish the pandemic had never happened at all).
I cannot however, ignore the illumination it presented me with.
I guess my question is, is it worth it to go back to school in my mid thirties?? It seems like the only logical move after experiencing a serious self reckoning. There are probably other paths I could take toward a decent paying career without going to a 4 year college, but this music program is very specialized and requires strong theory skills which I will need to revisit. Does anyone on here have advice for an older person going to a four year college? I know its trivial, but it will feel uncomfortable being around people mostly 10-17 years younger than myself..I will need to find a place off campus away from partying for my sanity. Have any of you ever done this? Obviously, at this point getting a decent education in my chosen field as quickly as possible is the new goal, but I’d still like to hear from anyone who has any insight into this experience.
thanks so much for reading and I hope you are all staying safe and healthy!
Submitted February 13, 2021 at 02:04PM by Catadd1ct https://ift.tt/3jN8hpJ
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