Advice for US system and special needs

I am a parent. We are in Wisconsin if that matters.

My daughter had a medical incident and I have been coming with her to elementary school. Today is my third day. I am just here to support my kid. However, this has given me the opportunity to observe full days of school.

I am absolutely appalled and terrified by what I have seen in her classroom. There are 3 children that torture the entire class. I know 2 are special needs. The poor teacher has to spend the majority of her time managing these 3 kids. The other 12 kids sit there helplessly and afraid.

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There is one kid ("Adam") (I am assuming autistic) that makes noise the entire time. He fidgets and makes noise and calls everyone else out on their behavior. But he is (understandingly) unable to monitor himself. (I don't intend to turn this into a debate/lesson on autism/fidgeting/stimming.)

1. It seems unfair that Adam is able to move freely around the room and makes noises 100% of the time. The other children are expected to sit quietly and ignore his behavior. Is that the best we can do? Simply telling others to ignore? What about the kids who are doing what they are supposed to be doing? Are they rewarded?

2. How do you handle Adam calling out other kids on breaking the same rules(i.e. interrupting the teacher, not sitting down) he is constantly violating himself? It is a double standard. I know he has an IEP. Do we teach other children that they can get away with anything as long as they get this special permission?

3. Adam is physically violent with others. If you get near him and he decides he doesn't want you near him, he hits and kicks without warning. I have been told that he can perceive a grievance against another student and will immediately become violent with them (whether they are near him or not). There is not any consequences for Adam's physical outburst (that I have personally observed). The other children basically understand this is just how he is and there is nothing they can do. Also, when the other children are injured no one seems to care. They are not sent to the nurse. They aren't comforted. They seem to understand they need to suffer in silence.

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The second child ("Brad") seems to have behavioral issues. He easily becomes violent. Multiple times a day, he is throwing all kinds of stuff around the classroom. It seems that if it is minor, it is ignored. If it is major, an aide is called to physically remove him from the room. The teacher spends so, so much time dealing with him, his behavior, and the consequences to the room.

1. Really, Brad is throwing pencils, glue, crayons, etc. And it is just ignored? The teacher and other kids pick up the stuff he throws. He isn't made to deal with consequences like clean up?

2. Brad throws pillows, cushions, books and chairs(!!?) around the room. Not just push things, overhead throws. He is either physically removed or they relocate the rest of the class while he is dealt with. Then he just rejoins the class when he calms down, like 20 minutes later. Really?? That's all?

3. I have not seem him do any class work. In 2.5 days, he is a distraction, disruptive or has been removed due to his behavior 100% of the time. I have not seem him even attempt a single assignment. How is this education? It seems that his education should be focused on therapeutic strategies to enable him to even begin to learn math or reading or writing.

4. I know this seems ableist but I don't know how else to phrase these questions. I am too frustrated to try to be more politically correct. Why are these children even in a mainstream classroom? What happened to special education classrooms? I absolutely believe all children have the right to an education. But education should have a different definition for some. Why are they being set up to fail? Brad obviously cannot handle being with other children. He is always in trouble. He goes out and them comes back and is simply encouraged to "turn his day around"? Shouldn't he be in a safe space and encouraged/given tools to succeed?

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Then there is "Chris" I won't pretend to be privy to her issues and I don't know enough to assume anything. Her behavior isn't anywhere near disruptive as the first two. She does get angry and I have seen it manifest physically. She kicks and throws things. Again, she is not made to clean it up.

1. She goes in and out of the classroom whenever she wants. At first I assumed this was for her to "reset" and come back ready to learn. But she is often just walking in and out. It is a distraction to others but easily ignored. But she doesn't seem to be learning either.

I absolutely think children need the freedom to take a time out and then go back when they are ready to learn. But if a child is leaving the room any time an assignment is handed out, how is she learning anything?

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How do I even begin to address this? I can't simply ignore it all. My child does not feel safe at school. Then there is the child who hurt my daughter. "Dave" pushed her off the playground at recess. Both of her arms are broken. She had to have surgery on both arms. She is in full arm casts and needs assistance with everything. This is costing our family thousands of dollars and that is just for the physical trauma. What about the mental trauma?

1. What were Dave's consequences for pushing my kids and breaking both of her arms? I know his parents were told of an incident. They only know the extent because we are friends outside of school. I never received an incident report. I only know what my daughter, Dave, and other kids have told me. I don't know if an adult even witnessed the incident.

2. I requested that she change classrooms. The principal told me that "they want kids to work out their issues on their own." This isn't a simple misunderstanding. He put my kid in the hospital!!! She had surgery on both arms. She has to have at least one other surgery in 6 months. My kid does not feel safe around him. How do I protect her??? I can't come to school with her every day for the rest of her life.

Please help. I don't know what to say and who to say it to!!

Submitted September 22, 2021 at 11:24AM by paintcounting456 https://ift.tt/3o24E39