I want to become a teacher but I'm kind of scared to

I'm not going to say "I've wanted to be a teacher all my life!" because that's not true, but after having teachers in high school that I could look up to and were supportive of me, I've firmly decided that this is the path I want to take in life. I want to be someone who can show students that learning is fun and rewarding and they they're important, loved, and valued.

But seeing how teachers are treated and hearing about their experiences is terrifying, and it makes me so scared for what this career has in store for me. Recent conversations about arming teachers have me worried; I don't like guns, nor do I trust myself to be able to use them properly and safely. And don't teachers already have a lot of expectations put on them? Is it really a good idea to add more?

I know that managing a classroom isn't easy but I'm scared that I just won't be able to do it. One of my former classmates sexually harassed one of my teachers, in front of the entire class! And this was only just over a year ago! And afterwards, the teacher was expected to be "graceful and respectful" in handling it. I know that my reaction would be far from "graceful" in that situation, and I'm afraid it would cost me my job.

And after the kids, how do I deal with parents? More than a couple of my teachers would get scathing, disrespectful emails and phone calls from parents. Even though they tried to hide it, I could tell how much it affected them. I'm scared I would collapse under that kind of pressure.

On top of that, I'm transgender. Am I going to have parents accuse me of being a predator and a danger to children, as I've heard so many times before? Will I be expected to hide, or even lie about who I am for the comfort of parents and/or administraton? I did that for years, and I don't want to go back to doing it.

I know that the pay for teachers isn't amazing, and that's fine. I'm ready for that. But after all of this, am I not even allowed to advocate for better treatment and pay? I'm supposed to "do it for the kids"? I have to sacrifice and compromise just for an unlivable wage and I'm not even allowed to say anything without being chastised?

I'm not saying that I don't want to become a teacher because of these things, because I still do, and I still will. (And, admittedly, I may be blowing things out of proportion.) I'm going to teach and I'm going to fucking enjoy it, because I know that I can. But I'm still kind of scared.

Submitted July 03, 2022 at 05:33PM by qdhaed https://ift.tt/jPDM5qz